Postpartum Depression- Is it Real?

Aren’t there a few things that we think happen only to the others? PPD was that for me! Having been in a paramedical field, I thought I knew it all, but the truth is, I didn’t know even an iota, seriously!

Indian stats say, upto 48% women in India suffer from some form of postpartum depression- And these are the reported numbers, I’m so sure there so many more cases that go unheard, unseen and unnoticed 🙁

Before I begin, here’s a disclaimer: I’m going to be super transparent and perhaps, even brutally honest about this, but I guess it’s time we get vocal and not suffer alone!

During my pregnancy, I, like most moms, had severe nausea, vomiting, difficulty in sleeping and so much more. While I endured it all, I smiled and stayed happy, because I knew there’s a bright morning waiting for me, and believe me, there was, I was blessed with an extremely cute and adorable daughter and that day, was the happiest day of my life so far, it was magic! 🙂 But what happened later, I wasn’t prepared for it! After a couple of days, I started feeling like never before, completely disillusioned, overwhelmed, sometimes even possessive about her, for no reason at all. On some days, I cried alone, when I stood under the shower, I missed my pregnancy, or rather, missed my unmarried days, and then there were days, I felt like the most luckiest soul to have such a wonderful partner and such a beautiful daughter. I felt like I was in an emotional roller-coaster!. There were times when I just wanted someone to take her for an hour or two so that I get back to my senses and start feeling a little normal, and then there were times I felt so possessive that I hated when someone held her, or even touched her, and worst, if someone commented on her.

(Here’s a piece of advise, if you’re not a mom yet, never comment on how the baby is or how she is handling the baby in front of a new mom, NEVER! You have absolutely no idea of what she is going through!)

Worst of all, I felt lonely and miserable-for completely no reason, and then I detested myself for being so ungrateful.

With time, I learnt how to deal with it. I’ve jotted down a few things that helped me and will perhaps help some new or soon-to-be moms too!

  1. Be prepared: If you’re soon to delve into motherhood, I pray you don’t feel or go through this at all, but there’s no harm in being prepared! Read a little about it, talk to your spouse or your mom or even your close friend. Inform them about PPD and tell them that you’ll need them. It’s always good to have someone close with you if you happen to go through this.
  2. Be vocal: If you feel low, depressed or gloomy, it’s always better to detoxify yourself. Cry on someone’s shoulder and express how you feel, get someone who won’t judge and give you all the needed support. Don’t let anything bottle up within you, be vocal, be stress-free! Also, if you think you’re more depressed than you should be, take medical advise. There’s no need to shy away, it isn’t an illness, it’s just a phase and getting help will only make you feel good!
  3. Be deaf ears: Now, this is something easier said than done, I know, I feel you mama. But believe me, people who comment on how the baby is- lean or fat, dark or fair, tall or short, or just anything- are definitely not your well wishers. If replying back isn’t polite (or if you’re bad at confronting in a tricky way, like me), just be deaf ears. Don’t let anything make you feel worse- just breathe, ignore and thank the Creator for blessing you with a bounty, which is so profound!
  4. Find some ‘me time’: If you’re having sleepless nights (which I’m sure you’ll have, unless you’re really lucky!), ask someone to take care of the baby for just an hour or two, and you relax, sleep, read, get a facial done 😛 (You’ll need it, lol) or just do anything that you enjoy. It’ll rejuvenate you, get you energised again and hopefully, you won’t be stressed like before 🙂

With that, I wish you all the good luck! If you’re a mom already and have experienced this, share your bit. I’d really like it, and most importantly, new mommies will know they’re not alone.

And yeah, it’s a phase and it’ll pass on even before you realise. As your little ones grows, her charms and antics will fill you with joy and you’ll forget all of it!

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13 thoughts on “Postpartum Depression- Is it Real?

  1. Post partum depression is indeed a pressing issue! Not many people especially here in India coem to terms with it. Its a fact and women shud seek help when they are suffering! I m loving this post!

  2. It’s a real thing indeed!
    I know I had it in my own ways! But no one around me but my mom understood that why I felt the blues when I was just blessed!

    I feel it’s just overehyand moms take time to absorb the commitment:)

  3. Post-partum depression is a reality indeed. In fact, I went through it myself after I had my first baby, and it lasted almost a year and a half. Unfortunately, our communities refuse to accept this reality and many a time attribute it to a weakness of faith, which is absolute nonsense. This attitude discourages those who suffer from seeking help and worsens their suffering. It’s sad. The major stepping stone to recovery is to open up and speak out and to have someone who understands and helps you through this. It’s just sad that we lack such people around us, people who take post-partum depression seriously and not say, instead, that you lack faith, and that you should be stronger, and that you should get a grip on yourself; people who will understand that it isn’t self-induced and easy to come out of, and instead requires patience and understanding.

    Thank you for sharing your experience with post-partum depression. It is a topic very close to my heart having suffered from it personally.

    1. I’ve gone through the same and chose to remain quiet and suffer, because I knew that the society might not understand. Then I realised that someone has to speak up, so that the others know it’s an actual thing and what they’re facing is not something unnatural and guilt-worthy!

  4. I’m a PPD survivor as well. With my 2.5 year old I had it to the point of having suicidal thoughts and self harming problems. I was afraid that if I asked for help, my daughter would be taken away from me.

    If you’re worried about this happening, it won’t! You’d have to be abusing your child or otherwise endangering them for them to be removed from your care.

    I had another baby this year and she actually died due to a genetic mutation. Grief has made the PPD worse this time around, but therapy and medication have been helpful.

    Do not have shame or guilt for needing professional help such as therapy or medication. The brain is an organ that can malfunction just like any other.

    Sorry for the long comment! Thanks for spreading awareness and for being so honest.

  5. Assalamalaikum
    This topic is so much closer to me. During my first pregnancy I had no idea about PPD, and not even ever heard of that, I was so excited to welcome my son. Once he is born. I was happy. Everyone around me was showing so much affection and love to him. I had no idea what was going on my mind,, I felt jealous about my son, why do everyone loves him.. I shouted at everyone in hospital and I refused to feed him too.

    Yes it sounds silly . But I wanted to hurt him bcoz I can’t see my husband loving him more and caring him more.
    My Gynac understood my situation, and explained it’s going to get worst. You need to control your self.

    Once back home, I was very disturbed. As a sudden their was change in my behavior, I want to keep my son close to me, I don’t want anyone to Even touch him. Or cuddle.

    That was a worst nightmare ever happened in my life,, my surroundings commented so much about my son. His looks, that eventually made me more devil. And I started yelling at everyone, he s a baby, just born, how’s fat you expect, how fair you need, this s none of your business, and everyone started taunting me, that I have a low imam, and lack of prayers. This that, It finally hardly lasted for 2.5 yrs, my son joined school by 2.8 yrs, then I was back to normal..

    I got pregnant last year, I was prepared this time. I spoke to my mom and husband about PPD, and how much suicidal thoughts I had in first PPD,, I was clear that this time I’m not going to do any drama, and I was going well for 3 months, once I moved to my home, it’s started again.. And controlling my thoughts are the worst thing ever..

    I heard from my mom.. Every women glue through this, people’s trouble more during that sensitive time.

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