My Mom Was Right!

There’s no denial to the fact that our mothers are always right. In fact, even if they aren’t sometimes, it’s always ideal to stick with the belief that they are 😀

For me and my brother, funnily enough, we had no choice. I don’t know if it was a creepy yet funny coincidence, mere childhood innocence or just our perspective of looking at things, but whenever my mom told us to do (or not do) something and we didn’t oblige, something strange happened. Not sometimes, but always! For instance, if we were watching TV after school and she wanted us to have lunch, and if we didn’t obey, there used to be a sudden power cut. Or when we played computer games and she wanted us to study, the computer used to stop working suddenly.

Now as I write this, I realise that she was probably very smart! Having a power cut or stopping the computer from working isn’t something a person can’t do 😂

Long story short, we grew up believing that mothers are always right and that we should obey them no matter what. And then, adolescence happened, which changed our mind altogether. Sadly, there were other people, books, modern scientific facts etc. which started to influence us and unlike how we felt in our childhood, our mom wasn’t the most perfect person on the planet anymore!

I then got married and found out about my pregnancy. She stood like a rock behind me and took care of me like no one else throughout. She was there beck and call for me and attended to my tiniest need!

In 9 months (which back then looked like a decade), I delivered my baby, and for her, a whole new project began- ‘Project Customary 40 Days’. Right from arranging a masseuse for me to making different varieties of food, she had everything covered.

Throughout the duration, I kept arguing with her, telling her that I don’t need massages and I don’t want special food, that I’m a normal human and want to be dealt with normally, but she insisted on doing these things because ‘they made her happy’.

After those 40 days were over and I came back home, I realised how right she has been!

Since I had a cesarean section, giving me light massages helped in early recovery and made me feel good from within. It also lowered my postpartum depression significantly, because who doesn’t find massages soothing to the nerves, afterall?

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The food I was given- i.e. hot bajra rotla (thick chapatis made of Bajra flour) topped with a dollop of ghee along with some fresh vegetable sabji, was just the right food I was supposed to eat. Bajra being high in carbohydrates gives sufficient energy and keeps us full while ghee has enough fat which ensures that the pace of digestion is slowed down- together which keeps us satiated for a long duration. The problem with lactation is that we feel hungry very often and this was her master plan to keep overeating and junk intake off the table.

Sometimes I think, no matter how alluring western lifestyle may be, but our basics are always right! And so are our moms!

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This post is a part of a blog train organised by me where I brought 20 Indian moms together to write on how their own mothers were right!

Also, make sure to check this interesting article written on the same topic by a fellow mom blogger, Nayantara (click here to reach her page)

<< t;<<< Thank you for stopping by and reading this article! Take care and happy mothering! Love, Elina

What Happened When I Kept My Phone Away While Nursing My Baby?

Long before I got pregnant, I made a list of things that I’d do when I breast-feed my baby— from talking to her and caressing her hair to reciting holy books and lullabies. And believe me, I did it all, for one complete month. And then, before I realised, I was aimlessly scrolling through my phone every time I nursed her. It slowly became a routine.

Every time she was hungry, I picked her up and began to nurse even without noticing her cues, looking at her face or seeing those pretty eyes.

As she grew, she learnt to play with my top, tried to pull my nose and put her fingers inside my mouth to touch my teeth, while I kept my self busy checking my notifications on Facebook and Instagram, watching random YouTube videos or simply checking deals on Shopping sites.

Honestly, deep down inside me, I hated myself and felt the guilt, but just like many other things we don’t like but still continue to do, this too became the same.

Soon I started to write parenting articles and the best time I could do that was when I nursed her. Albiet, my focus had changed and I was making more constructive use of this time, nonetheless, my actions remained the same.

Just like that, 2018 commenced. I was going through the resolutions made by people on the New Year’s Eve, and saw many people mention ‘Phone Detox’ as one of their goals. It was then it struck me, that I don’t need a complete detox, but there’s one thing that I really need to work on and that was- ‘Quality Nursing Time.’

I didn’t wait to jot it down in a planner or streamline my daily routine to work on it, but I chose to start immediately. That’s the thing about goals- you don’t always need to plan and wait for the right time, you just need to buckle up and start working on them as soon as possible.

After I made up my mind and it was time to nurse her, I held her in my arms and gave her a huge welcoming smile as I unbuttoned. She looked back at me with a twinkle in her eyes- the kind I’d never seen before. I realised how beautiful this little girl of mine was- so innocent and angelic. Throughout the nursing session I kept caressing her hair and read out lullabies and chants, just like I had planned to. I looked at her hands and noticed the cute dimples that she had below her fingers; I saw her face and noticed how it was full of enthusiasm; I saw her feet which constantly wiggled throughout. She continued to look at me and I noticed how the magic of breastmilk slowly worked and how beautifully she drifted off to sleep. Yes, that was my girl- the little squish that came out of me a couple of months ago, who was so delicate and tiny that she couldn’t even turn her head in the direction she wanted and here she is- all grown up and ready to walk independently. How quickly all these months flew by!

We often say kids grow up in the blink of an eye, but the truth is that we are so occupied in ourselves that we forget to notice them grow. Things like notifications, calls, shopping etc. can wait, we can do those when our little ones are asleep, but our children will never be this little again. They’ll never run to us to get a hug, they’ll never find joy in coming to us to get milk, they’ll never play peekaboo with our tshirts when they eat and they’ll probably never love us with the same pure feelings as they do today.

Someday in the future, we would scroll through their photos and miss these days! Why not cuddle and snuggle them as much we can before these lovely moments are gone?

Nursing our little ones is not just another mom-duty. It’s an unparalleled bond that we share which is like nothing else in the world. It’s like giving a part of yourself to your baby- the kind of nourishment and nurturing she will receive from no one ever! It’s therapeutic, not just for them but for us mothers too. Try to live in the moment- to feel the flow of liquid gold from your body to your baby’s and experience the magnificence. Try to make nursing sessions bonding times with your baby. Researchers have found that the strength of mothers emotional bond with the baby may trump all the other cautionary measures we take- like vaccinations, monthly check ups with the paediatrician etc., to help the baby thrive. A close attachment can prevent diseases, boost immunity and even enhance their IQ! Isn’t that amazing?

I’m still working on this and I urge you to try too! 🙂 I’m sure you’ll thank me for this.

Love,

Elina

(Just another mother who errs and learns)

P.S. Please excuse all the typos and errors. Wrote this while my little bundle of joy was sleeping. You know the time crunch we mothers have 🙈