There’s no denial to the fact that our mothers are always right. In fact, even if they aren’t sometimes, it’s always ideal to stick with the belief that they are 😀
For me and my brother, funnily enough, we had no choice. I don’t know if it was a creepy yet funny coincidence, mere childhood innocence or just our perspective of looking at things, but whenever my mom told us to do (or not do) something and we didn’t oblige, something strange happened. Not sometimes, but always! For instance, if we were watching TV after school and she wanted us to have lunch, and if we didn’t obey, there used to be a sudden power cut. Or when we played computer games and she wanted us to study, the computer used to stop working suddenly.
Now as I write this, I realise that she was probably very smart! Having a power cut or stopping the computer from working isn’t something a person can’t do 😂
Long story short, we grew up believing that mothers are always right and that we should obey them no matter what. And then, adolescence happened, which changed our mind altogether. Sadly, there were other people, books, modern scientific facts etc. which started to influence us and unlike how we felt in our childhood, our mom wasn’t the most perfect person on the planet anymore!
I then got married and found out about my pregnancy. She stood like a rock behind me and took care of me like no one else throughout. She was there beck and call for me and attended to my tiniest need!
In 9 months (which back then looked like a decade), I delivered my baby, and for her, a whole new project began- ‘Project Customary 40 Days’. Right from arranging a masseuse for me to making different varieties of food, she had everything covered.
Throughout the duration, I kept arguing with her, telling her that I don’t need massages and I don’t want special food, that I’m a normal human and want to be dealt with normally, but she insisted on doing these things because ‘they made her happy’.
After those 40 days were over and I came back home, I realised how right she has been!
Since I had a cesarean section, giving me light massages helped in early recovery and made me feel good from within. It also lowered my postpartum depression significantly, because who doesn’t find massages soothing to the nerves, afterall?
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The food I was given- i.e. hot bajra rotla (thick chapatis made of Bajra flour) topped with a dollop of ghee along with some fresh vegetable sabji, was just the right food I was supposed to eat. Bajra being high in carbohydrates gives sufficient energy and keeps us full while ghee has enough fat which ensures that the pace of digestion is slowed down- together which keeps us satiated for a long duration. The problem with lactation is that we feel hungry very often and this was her master plan to keep overeating and junk intake off the table.
Sometimes I think, no matter how alluring western lifestyle may be, but our basics are always right! And so are our moms!
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This post is a part of a blog train organised by me where I brought 20 Indian moms together to write on how their own mothers were right!
Also, make sure to check this interesting article written on the same topic by a fellow mom blogger, Nayantara (click here to reach her page)
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Thank you for stopping by and reading this article!
Take care and happy mothering!
Love,
Elina
What Happened When I Kept My Phone Away While Nursing My Baby?
Long before I got pregnant, I made a list of things that I’d do when I breast-feed my baby— from talking to her and caressing her hair to reciting holy books and lullabies. And believe me, I did it all, for one complete month. And then, before I realised, I was aimlessly scrolling through my phone every time I nursed her. It slowly became a routine.
Every time she was hungry, I picked her up and began to nurse even without noticing her cues, looking at her face or seeing those pretty eyes.
As she grew, she learnt to play with my top, tried to pull my nose and put her fingers inside my mouth to touch my teeth, while I kept my self busy checking my notifications on Facebook and Instagram, watching random YouTube videos or simply checking deals on Shopping sites.
Honestly, deep down inside me, I hated myself and felt the guilt, but just like many other things we don’t like but still continue to do, this too became the same.
Soon I started to write parenting articles and the best time I could do that was when I nursed her. Albiet, my focus had changed and I was making more constructive use of this time, nonetheless, my actions remained the same.
Just like that, 2018 commenced. I was going through the resolutions made by people on the New Year’s Eve, and saw many people mention ‘Phone Detox’ as one of their goals. It was then it struck me, that I don’t need a complete detox, but there’s one thing that I really need to work on and that was- ‘Quality Nursing Time.’
I didn’t wait to jot it down in a planner or streamline my daily routine to work on it, but I chose to start immediately. That’s the thing about goals- you don’t always need to plan and wait for the right time, you just need to buckle up and start working on them as soon as possible.
After I made up my mind and it was time to nurse her, I held her in my arms and gave her a huge welcoming smile as I unbuttoned. She looked back at me with a twinkle in her eyes- the kind I’d never seen before. I realised how beautiful this little girl of mine was- so innocent and angelic. Throughout the nursing session I kept caressing her hair and read out lullabies and chants, just like I had planned to. I looked at her hands and noticed the cute dimples that she had below her fingers; I saw her face and noticed how it was full of enthusiasm; I saw her feet which constantly wiggled throughout. She continued to look at me and I noticed how the magic of breastmilk slowly worked and how beautifully she drifted off to sleep. Yes, that was my girl- the little squish that came out of me a couple of months ago, who was so delicate and tiny that she couldn’t even turn her head in the direction she wanted and here she is- all grown up and ready to walk independently. How quickly all these months flew by!
We often say kids grow up in the blink of an eye, but the truth is that we are so occupied in ourselves that we forget to notice them grow. Things like notifications, calls, shopping etc. can wait, we can do those when our little ones are asleep, but our children will never be this little again. They’ll never run to us to get a hug, they’ll never find joy in coming to us to get milk, they’ll never play peekaboo with our tshirts when they eat and they’ll probably never love us with the same pure feelings as they do today.
Someday in the future, we would scroll through their photos and miss these days! Why not cuddle and snuggle them as much we can before these lovely moments are gone?
Nursing our little ones is not just another mom-duty. It’s an unparalleled bond that we share which is like nothing else in the world. It’s like giving a part of yourself to your baby- the kind of nourishment and nurturing she will receive from no one ever! It’s therapeutic, not just for them but for us mothers too. Try to live in the moment- to feel the flow of liquid gold from your body to your baby’s and experience the magnificence. Try to make nursing sessions bonding times with your baby. Researchers have found that the strength of mothers emotional bond with the baby may trump all the other cautionary measures we take- like vaccinations, monthly check ups with the paediatrician etc., to help the baby thrive. A close attachment can prevent diseases, boost immunity and even enhance their IQ! Isn’t that amazing?
I’m still working on this and I urge you to try too! 🙂 I’m sure you’ll thank me for this.
Love,
Elina
(Just another mother who errs and learns)
P.S. Please excuse all the typos and errors. Wrote this while my little bundle of joy was sleeping. You know the time crunch we mothers have 🙈
10 Unique Gift Ideas for New Moms
From the overwhelming experience of holding a fragile baby for the first time to the exhaustion of night long cries and cluster feeds, the first couple of months of motherhood are an emotional roller coaster! In my opinion, if there’s one group that deserves all the love and pampering in universe, then that’s the group of new moms!
If you know of someone who has recently delivered a baby and if you’re looking to gift her something special and unique, then look no further. We’ve got you covered!
Here’s a list of unique gift ideas for new moms for you:
1) Nursing Pillow:
Though breastfeeding may appear to be a beautiful thing, the initial weeks aren’t very beautiful. Why not make this journey of a new mom super comfortable? You can gift a nursing pillow which has both a soft side and a firm side. This way, the mother has the choice to use whatever side she is in the need of. Get one which also has a adjustable belt to keep the pillow in place.
Cost: Around ₹750-1000/-
2) Breast Pump:
If you’re buying a gift for someone who’s planning to resume work after her maternity leave, the best thing to give her is a Breast pump. It comes very handy for moms who have a career to pursue but don’t want to compromise on their child’s health and nutrition.
Cost: Manual Pump: ₹800-3000/-, Electric Pump: ₹3500/- onwards
3) Arrange for a Nanny or a Househelp:
Though this sounds funny and weird, but it’s the best gift you can give to a new mom, especially the one who’s put up alone or has negligible help. Cleaning the house and running routine errands would be the last thing a mother would want to do in her free time. We can reduce her stress by arranging for a househelp or even a nanny. There are several online sites which now provide with services like these in India.
Cost: ₹3000-10,000- Depending on the services and number of days you choose.:
4) Nursing Cape or Outfits:
Breastfeeding comes with its own set of highs and lows. A mother has a complicated clothing situation in order to feed. But you can ease that situation by gifting some cute nursing essentials. A soft bra that’s easy to unhook, a comfy cape to cover the baby or a warm outfit that opens easily when it’s time to feed are some great options for those tricky situations when the baby wants his food and the mother’s not in the right state to feed however she wants, like in a supermarket or a public vehicle.
Cost: ₹500/- and above
5) Pampering Sessions at Home:
A spa package is a wonderful gift but sometimes it is better to gift some good products that a mom can pick up anytime to pamepr yourself. You can gift a good eye cream for dark circles, a soothing moisturiser or a full facial set. There are many more pampering options she would definitely appreciate. Brands like MamaEarth, TheMomsCo. etc make some fabulous mom-centric products.
Alternatively, you can also arrange for a spa or a manicure-pedicure session at home for the tired mommy. You’ll find several home salon-service providers these days. It’s easy, convenient and which mom won’t like that?
Cost: ₹150/- and above
6) Professional Photoshoots:
This is my personal favourite! You can surprise the new mom with a specialises mom-baby photoshoot for them! Ofcourse, consult her before you schedule it. These photos will become a lifetime memory for her and she’ll always love you for it!
Cost: ₹5000/- and above
7) Baby Carrier:
Carrying the baby in the arms can be physically exhausting and even painful at times. What better than gifting her the joy of BabyWearing? Choose an ergonomic carrier which will provide both the baby and the new mom with comfort and class.
Featured here is Soul’s Basic Cotton Full Buckle in the shade- Lapis
Cost: ₹1500/- onwards
8) Food Baskets:
Easy, ready to eat foods are a good gift for a new mom who hardly has time to prepare a meal. So one can prepare a basket with fruit, nuts, granola bars, ready to eat munchies, soup packets and anything that a mom can eat quickly. She’ll love you for this.
Cost: ₹150/- onwards
9) Baby Monitor
If the new mom stays alone with the baby all day and is a work from home mom, then gifting her a baby monitor is a great idea. This way, she can work in peace while keeping an eye on her baby without being physically present all the time.
Cost: ₹1500/- onwards
10) Your Time:
The gift of time to a new mom is priceless. You can go to her place and take care of her baby for sometime while she relaxes or takes a shower or gets a pedicure done. There’s no gift that can beat this one!
Cost: Free!
Hope you enjoyed reading this blog post!! If you did, don’t forget to like this article and follow me to read more such posts!
Love,
Elina
The Hairfall Story- Why it happens and how can you treat it?
If you’re a mom and you didn’t face this, girl, you’re lucky! 😀
Generally after 3-4 months of delivery, most moms face postpartum hair loss. In fact, I’ve lost so much hair in this one month, that I feared I’ll go bald! (FYI: that never happens, no matter how crazy your Hairfall is!)
It’s is a major concern for most moms, especially if their hair is scanty and thin like mine. Hence, I did a little research to jot down why this happens and how can you control it!
- Generally our hair goes through two phases- Growth phase and resting phase
- Normally, 85-90% of our hair is in growth phase and 10-15% is in resting phase, which is why we lose around 100 strands a day and that’s perfectly normal.
- During pregnancy, our estrogen levels rise, thus freezing the resting phase. This is the reason why women generally during pregnancy have long, thick and lustrous hair.
- After delivery, the estrogen levels collapse and a lot of hair go in resting phase, this is why women start shedding way more hair than they normally do.
There’s not much you can do to reverse it, but yes, there are a few things that’ll make your existing hair look healthier!
- Oil your hair as much possible with a mix of almond oil, castor oil and coconut oil.
- Make hair masks of ingredients that are known for maintenance of healthy hair- like eggs, banana, curd, henna etc.
- Include proteins in your diet- that will go a long way in giving your hair optimal nutrition.
- Protect them from direct sunlight.
- Decrease your hair length. It’ll give them an illusion of bouncy healthy hair and will also be easier for you to maintain!
The good news is that this is a temporary condition and your hair growth will be normal by the time it’s your child’s first birthday, so rejoice! U 😀
5 Pregnancy Must-Haves
Pregnancy doesn’t come along with a manual and no matter how much people warn and inform you- each pregnancy has its own challenges and requirements.
I’ve jotted down five things I swore by during my nine-months-spell.
1. Maternity leggings
There’s a reason this is featured first on my list and that’s so because I don’t remember a single day I wore anything else except these. I had three maternity leggings that I remember purchasing from snapdeal early on in my pregnancy and I wore every single day until I delivered. They’re super comfortable and easy to style since they don’t make you look shabby with the huge belly.
2. Bio oil
I dreaded developing stretch marks since I’ve always heard they remain for life. Just when my first trimester got over, I purchased bio oil from amazon and used it religiously. I must confess, it really helped me prevent stretch marks completely!
3. Comfortable shoes
I don’t know if it was this, walking regularly or mainiting my salt intake- but I didn’t have swollen feet at all. So yes, invest in a good pair of shoes, because swollen feet and inability to walk is the last thing you’d want to have.
4. Mason jar
Pregnancy demands a lot of fluids- and by fluids I don’t mean just water- we need milk, soups and juices to stay hydrated and have enough nutrients for the growing baby. I don’t know about others, but pregnancy made me very lazy and I always needed some motivation to get up and help myself. Being a sucker for cute things, mason jar came handy. I actually enjoyed preparing smoothies for myself and relished drinking in this jar. This was specific to me, but make sure to have something to motivate you to stay healthy!
5. V-wash cleanser
I saved the best of the last. Urinary tract infection is very common in pregnancy and can cause a lot of harm to both the growing foetus and the mother. I developed UTI in the seventh month due to which I started having pain and false contractions. It’s then when I got this and used it till the last day of my pregnancy and thankfully never had even one episode of UTI. I don’t think many women take care of that area, but believe me, since it’s the organ which will deliver your baby , keeping it clean and healthy will benefit you and the baby the most!
5 things no one told me about ‘C-section’ delivery
I NEVER wanted to have LSCS delivery and worked really really hard for VD, but in the end, fate has its say! Mine was an emergency c-section after my last Color Doppler test showed diminishing oxygen supply to the foetus which could have resulted in respiratory distress during labour. Honestly, I wasn’t mentally prepared for c-section so it sort of added on to my post partum depression!
Hence, I’m jotting down a few facts I was completely unaware of until I delivered via c-section, so that all of you who might go through the same are more prepared than I was.
1. To see or not to see
Not sure if they ask this to everyone, but my Ob-gyn asked me if I’d like to see the delivery. I was so freaked out at that moment that I denied. Now I look back and regret- How I wish I’d seen her come out of me!
2. It’s not a minor surgery
Until I delivered, I assumed c-section is the easier way out, but when I entered the OT, that’s when I realised it isn’t. I saw a team of 12-15 doctors and paramedics, all surrounded around one stretcher on which I was supposed to lie. My hands were tied/buckled, oxygen mask was put, anesthetisa was injected, heart rate and pulse rate was being recorded and they all got started. It isn’t a minor surgery, no!
3. There are contractions
Yes, there are contractions, perhaps not as tough as they are in labour, but they’re pretty severe. I almost cried all day. The only difference is- in VD there are contractions before birth and in csection, it’s succeeds the surgery and may go on the entire day and following night too. I was given pain killers thrice or four times  but the intensity of the contractions was still very severe.
4. The pain post surgery is horrible
I wonder why no one speaks of this- but the pain is very severe. I wasn’t able to turn my head for one complete day. I couldn’t sit or walk too. It was so bad that I thought I’m going to be like this forever (I know it sounds lame, but believe me, those were my thoughts that day). I gradually started to sit, with help on the second day and then walk, but it took me around 12 days to stand by myself without any help.
5. The incision area remains numb for a long time
They say that the external part of the incision heals within a fortnight but the internal stitches take around 3 years to heal completely. Also the area around the incision remains numb. I delivered around 3.5 months ago, and it’s now that I’m starting to feel sensation there, until now, I didn’t feel a thing when touched.
5 things no one told me about pregnancy
We all must have heard so many stories about pregnancy, so much so that when I became pregnant, I thought I knew it all, but I was wrong. Strangely, there are so many minor facts that no one talks about. I’ve listed a five such facts which atleast I was unaware of when I got pregnant.
1. Weight loss is normal
When you conceive and up until 5 months, the size of the baby is pretty small , plus your body is undergoing a lot of stress, so you might not gain weight and possibly even lose some- which is completely normal. At first, I Â freaked out when I lost 4 kgs, but later I learned that weight maintenance towards the beginning is actually good for healthy weight gain throughout the pregnancy.
2. Honeymoon period
Yeah, you read that right. There’s something called pregnancy honeymoon period. So, during my first trimester I was suffering from a condition called ‘hyperemesis’ which meant incessant vomiting which sometimes continued all night. Looking at my condition, me and my husband thought it was best to quit my job, since we anticipated that it might worsen with passing days but little were we aware that ‘honeymoon period’ was awaiting us!
So basically, unlike what I thought, the second trimester is considered to be the best one- since your body has gotten accustomed to the growth within you by then and all the symptoms you have been suffering from, begin to subside. Try to make most of this period- do something constructive or go for your Babymoon. Believe me, you will miss alone time later.
3. Facial glow and food cravings- Not everyone gets those
I don’t know if it happens with everyone but I honestly didn’t notice any pregnancy glow per se. I looked and my skin felt just like it was before pregnancy. I also longed for nights when I would feel like having chicken wings or chocolate ice cream, like they show in the movies, but none of that happened too!
4. You might start hating people!
First things first- let me confess, I love my husband, a lot, but I don’t know what pregnancy does to our brain! You’d notice that you start getting irritated and mad at people easily, especially your husband! Make sure to discuss with him beforehand so that he sails with you through this and doesn’t have second thoughts about you! :p
5. Urine incontinence
I knew pregnant women tend to pee frequently, but I didn’t know laughing or sneezing could also result in some boo-boo episodes! There were so many instances when I controlled my laughter because I feared I’ll wet my pants. Pregnancy can get so uncomfortable at times, well honestly, most of the times.. But it’s equally beautiful too! 🙂